


I'm looking forward to leaving this behind

by supercali



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, M/M, Robert Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:35:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercali/pseuds/supercali
Summary: Two times Robert left Emmerdale, and one time he stayed.





	I'm looking forward to leaving this behind

**Author's Note:**

> Just something that popped into my head a while back and it fitted in with Robert Week :)
> 
> BTW I don't know when Robert met Chrissie but for the purposes of this it was just before Jack died.

_“What have you done? You lunatic!”_

_“You’re on your own son.”_

The miles were growing, he was getting further and further from Emmerdale. The ache in his chest was getting bigger all the time. Why did he care, why should he? They didn’t. His Dad could say he didn’t hate him all he liked but Robert knew the truth, he could see it in his eyes.

He wonders when it started, when did his own father turn against him. He wasn’t an angel, far from it but you’re supposed to be able to rely on your Dad aren’t you. He’s always supposed to be there for you. He managed it perfectly fine with Andy.

Of course with Andy. Didn’t it always come back to Andy.

He wonders idly what Andy would have to do for his Dad to turn on him, to send him away. Probably nothing short of blowing up the whole village he thinks with a snort. Probably even then he’d find a way to excuse it. Just like he did with Mum.

Through the sudden tears he sees a sign for a service station. It was better than nothing and he wasn’t stupid enough to keep driving like this, his eyes full of tears, his hands shaking. He’d get something to eat and try and work out what to do. He couldn’t go home. He had no other family nearby, or none that he knew well enough. Even if he did, he had no idea where they were. There was just his gran.

Sandwich and drink in hand he sits at a table by the window, knows the girl didn’t believe his story about having a cold for a second. The rain is beating down on the windows matching his tears. He’s glad he sat in the corner away from everyone.

He’s got a tight grip on his phone, he just needs to pluck up the courage to make the phone call. She’s always been there for as long as he can remember. She’s taken him in before when he’s needed her, surely she’ll do the same this time. Before he can think any more he finds the number.

“Gran, it’s me.” He sniffs at the sound of her voice, a voice that made him think of the old farm, of tea in front of the range, or a roaring fire. “Can I come and stay with you for a while?”

_“This is where you should be. It’s your rightful place.”_

He doesn’t belong there anymore. He doesn’t know if he ever did. He’s always wanted more. More than the farm, more than the endless hard graft for little reward. When Andy said he should stay he went cold, the mere thought of it making him shiver. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

As soon as he reached the edge of the village he felt it, weighing down on him, the old feelings of disappointment, of not being good enough, not being what everyone wanted him to be. He couldn’t go any further, couldn’t face the church and his family. It was his Gran who had told him, she was the only one he spoke too, still visited when he could. She would be angry with him, he’d told her he’d be there, had promised her.

He’s got a new life now, with Chrissie. It’s new, he’s only known her a few months. He feels like he’s finally settling down. Maybe he will end up being the man his Dad wanted him to be after all.

He doesn’t get much further, pulls into a layby. He can’t just go. He doesn’t see himself ever coming back here, not anymore, but looking at the rose on the seat beside him he knows he he should say goodbye. Then he’ll be gone. Forever.

_“I’ll never forget you.”_

Ten years. It felt like longer. So much had happened.

“I came back Dad. In the end. I spent so long staying away, trying to find a way of being someone you’d be proud of. Would you ever have been proud? Even when I had the big house and the beautiful wife? Probably not. Still, doesn’t matter anymore.” He’d come here alone. It was barely dawn. He’d not slept, so he’d crept out of bed, leaving Aaron snoring, tiptoeing past Liv’s room and out of the front door. “I’m happy, Dad. Really happy. It’s taken so long but I made it. I doubt you’d approve but he’s taught me that it doesn’t matter, that it was your problem, that I didn’t do anything wrong. Anyway that’s all I came to say.”

He got up and walked away from the grave, wiping away the stray tear that was making its way down his cheek. He knew Victoria would persuade him to come back here later on but he wanted to do this alone. As he passed he saw Bob opening up for the day and he decided to treat Aaron to his favourite cup of coffee.

“You’re about early today.” Bob greeted him with a smile as he paid.

“Just been to the graveyard. It’s Dad’s anniversary.” He liked Bob, always a smile on his face, always chirpy.

“Oh...well, that’ll warm you up anyway.” Robert smiled, glad there were no sympathetic words, he couldn’t handle them.

He leaves with a smile and makes his way back down the village. He’s hoping Aaron’s still in bed where he can join him. It had taken a long time for them to get back to being them, but finally two years after they got married, he thinks they might be there.

“Where’d you go?” Is the sleepy question as he slips back into bed beside him, coffee on the bedside table waiting for the smell of it to reach Aaron’s nose.

“To see Dad.” He can’t resist planting one of his freezing hands on Aaron’s stomach, chuckling as he squirms away. It’s revenge for all the times he’s done it.

“You ok?”

“Yeah.” He really thinks he is. It’s taken a long time and he’s come a long way from being the lad exiled from the village and told never to come back.

For a long time he didn’t think he would, wouldn’t if it had been his choice he supposes. Has Lawrence to thank for that. Thinking about not being here, not meeting Aaron makes him shudder and Aaron turns over, mistaking it for cold, and runs his hands up and down Robert’s arms. He finally belongs, finally has a family that doesn’t expect anything from him.

“I was thinking.”

“Uh-oh.” That earns Aaron a pinch to his side. “Go on then, astound me.”

“Thought maybe we could go out to Spain, me you and Liv, visit my Gran.” She knows about Aaron but he’s never quite built up the confidence to take him to meet her, it’s never seemed like the right time, but he doesn’t have forever, he knows that. She reminds him of it every time they speak.

“Can do, if you’re sure.”

Later they’ll both go back to the graveyard, with Vic and Adam, and Diane. He’ll say all the right things, do what’s expected, listen as they tell their stories of Jack Sugden, how good he was, how fair, how he loved all his children. He doesn’t add his own story but he can listen and not be filled with bitterness, not anymore, because Aaron’s standing by his side, holding his hand tightly.

It makes him realise that coming back here was the best thing he ever did.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @nooneelsecomesclose17 on tumblr. Come by and pay me a visit!


End file.
